- There’s a lion in the streets
- I forgot to wake late
- A storm is coming
- Global warming
- Global cooling
- Climate change
- Evolution hasn’t caught up to me yet
- I’ll believe in God when everybody else does
- I couldn’t find a thing to wear
- I don’t like those people
- Those people don’t like me
- Church is so passé
- My dog was reading my bible and didn’t want to disturb him
- The preacher ignores me when I try to interrupt
- I went last week but I didn’t see God
- God told me to go to brunch instead
- Somebody was sitting in my seat
- I went on Friday but nobody showed up
- People aren’t holy enough
- People say I’m not holy enough
- Pets aren’t allowed
- Is it Easter already?
- The bible doesn’t say we have to go to that church!
- If God wanted me to go to church, he would have made me a preacher
- God said “follow me” but I never see him go in
- The preacher only talks about God and the bible
- I’ll go when I get old
- I don’t have to go to church to believe in God
- I don’t have to go to church, I don’t believe in God
- Oh, is today Sunday?
- I believe in home churching
- I went anyway
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I made it anyway!
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