In his book, The Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning describes how Jesus didn’t come for the pretty, pious, and powerful. But rather for the “bedraggled, beat-up and bunt out” ragamuffins who desperately need His grace. Which fits a displaced person such as myself like a tailored suit.
In my life I have attended churches, joined churches, become a member of churches and served in churches. And in most cases I had a constant gnawing sensation I should apologize to those good people for plunging myself among their number. I just never felt I measured up. I was ordained as teaching pastor/elder as I had/have a genuine passion for the bible as a love letter from God. And yet I still felt I didn’t measure up. I studied theology, I discussed theology, I debated theology, I argued theology and I even taught theology. And I recognize those things have some value in knowing God – but not all of God. The feeling I finally found my niche never came.
This isn’t to say I never experience peace. For relationship with the Savior provides an abundance of that. And having said that isn’t to say having relationship with Jesus gives me nothing but peace. Only the departed who are now in His presence have that. However, the best I feel is when I’m alone with Christ allowing him to sift my mind for things of discussion between just him and me. It seems that when I’m alone, the less alone I feel. Loneliness? Yes, I experience loneliness sometime. It’s an inescapable part of the human condition common to all of mankind. But as a poet once said, “I’d rather be alone than with just anybody.” And the danger of “just anybody” is that just-anybody could be Jack-the-Ripper unawares. A bit of hyperbole, but you get my drift.
Did you know that Almighty God is a woman? This will take a bit of explaining of my thought pattern since I’m a man and I mean it in a very positive sense.(Discussion for another topic).
I’ll leave you with a bible verse:
Ecclesiastes 1. 3: “What does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun? :4 Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever.” (NIV)
Hmmm. So why do we want it all and more of it and our own way?